I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
