They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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