He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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