so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
