I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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