the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
