its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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