im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
