GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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