The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
