I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize