it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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