FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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