So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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