he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
