I think i sorta joined a cult last night
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize