I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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