So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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