Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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