haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
