Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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