suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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