dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
