help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Randomize