at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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