honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize