He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
