apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
