Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
cat food counts as protein by the way
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
