I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
