did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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