just tell him i said nine months
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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