there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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