I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
