Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize