She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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