as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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