My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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