stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
