I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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