walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize