I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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