I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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