listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
