Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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