He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
