he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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