hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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