exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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