I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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