u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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