weddingsv make me drug and hornr
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
