I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
