You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
