I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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