i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
