I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize