So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
