Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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