He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize