i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize