FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
