Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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